Phantom Pregnancy

phantom pregnancy

n

(Medicine / Gynaecology & Obstetrics) the occurrence of signs of pregnancy, such as enlarged abdomen and absence of menstruation, when no embryo is present, due to hormonal imbalance Also called false pregnancy pseudopregnancy Technical name pseudocyesis     

Many TTCers may have experienced these symptoms at some point in their lives, without knowing the terminology for it. So I decided to explore what a phantom pregnancy is, and how it can affect our day to day well being.

The most popular display of phantom pregnancy was in the 1st season of the hit television series Glee! The enthusiastic choir teacher's wife tricks herself into believing that she is pregnant. Later, she is emotionally disappointed when the doctor rendered her barren, proving how powerful the human mind can be. Embarrassed by her discovery, she continues a series of lies to keep her husband from leaving the marriage.

Phantom pregnancies or false pregnancies have effected many woman and even some men. Most symptoms arise when there is an emotional want or need for a baby, or a fear of never having a baby. This may be due to failed pregnancy attempts, miscarriages, or even a recent hysterectomy. According to Jennifer Drapkin of Psychology Today, "A woman may stop menstruating, or her stomach may become distended due to stress or constipation. But her brain interprets the signs as pregnancy, which triggers the pituitary gland to secrete hormones like prolactin to prepare the body to carry a child. She gains more weight around the midsection, and her breasts swell and might even lactate. Many false pregnancies end when the woman goes into labor and delivers nothing".

Here are a few personal accounts from women who have suffered from phantom pregnancy symptoms:

- "I have been having a phantom pregnancy, I look as though I am about 5 months pregnant, I've been having morning sickness, mood swings, extreme tiredness and my periods have stopped, I'm even having movement in my stomach which my husband and friends can also see, but all the tests have came back negative, I feel like I'm going crazy!"

- "I am experiencing what you call "phantom pregnancy". I am having all the symptoms, heartburn,morning sickness, bloating and a missed period. I have taken 3 hpt and a blood tests and all of them came up negative. I guess when you worry or wish so much that you can almost "think" yourself to be pregnant."

- "I too feel like I am experiencing a phantom pregnancy. After missing a period, I have had morning sickness, gained 5 pounds in one week, have breast tenderness, and actually feel like a baby is moving inside of my lower abdomen. I have taken 2 pregnancy tests, both having a negative result. The last 2 weeks have pushed me into a depressed and confused state. I feel absolutely crazy. I think I need to see a therapist."

Although it isn't widely discussed, the realization that a false pregnancy is in fact false, can have lasting psychological effects. It is important to remember that there are many women who experience these symptoms, and you are not alone. Please seek help from a doctor or therapist if you feel you may be suffering from a phantom pregnancy. Getting professional confirmation can help ease your mind and give you the answers that you need.

Quote of the Day

            

Humble Pie

I received a huge slice of humble pie last night, and it tasted really, really bad.

With each bite I became sicker to my stomach.

The sour taste made my eyes water with regret.

 I hung my head in shame as I ate the contents of my plate,

vowing never to eat humble pie again.

Thanks For Making Me a Fighter

Makes me that much stronger

Makes me work a little bit harder

It makes me that much wiser

So thanks for making me a fighter

Made me learn a little bit faster

Made my skin a little bit thicker

Makes me that much smarter

So thanks for making me a fighter

Why Do Horrible Things Happen to Good People?

While sorting through the array of programs I recorded on my DVR last night, my attention focused on Giuliana & Bill, the fun-loving couple who publicly share their intimate  fertility problems with curious viewers. Expecting another season of IVF (In vitro fertilization) treatments and possibly a success story, I was overwhelmed with sadness when Giuliana was diagnosed with breast cancer at the tender age of 36.

Tears rolled down my face as I empathized with her struggles. She and her husband Bill tackle all of their problems with positive attitudes and hopes for a bright and sunny future. After drying my tears, I sat in contemplation wondering why horrible things happen to good people?

In Deepak Chopra's book "Spiritual Solutions: Answers to Life's Greatest Challenges", he explains, "Life isn't random. There is pattern and purpose inside every existence. The reason that challenges arise is simple: to make you more aware of your inner purpose". This is such a strong statement to reflect on. Like many, I have always been one who needed to be punched in the face in order to learn a life lesson. In fact, most of my personal growth has come from the lessons I learned while in my lowest state. Is a series of struggles the recipe for becoming a good person?

So I turn to Deepak again for the answer, and he states, "How you meet your challenges makes all the difference between the promise of success and the specter of failure". Giuliana and Bill are role models for those going through struggle. They feel the pain of the their struggles, but they also know how to pick themselves up, dust themselves off, and face the problem with strength. Too often people let themselves become overwhelmed with grief, getting stuck in a deep dark hole of pain and regret. The longer you stay at the bottom of that pit, the harder it will be to climb your way out of it. I have been inspired by the Rancic's and hope I too can be a positive role model to those who need the sun to rise once again.

My Struggle

My life has not been easy the last six months, but the roller coaster of emotions I have felt has made me stronger, loving, spiritual, grateful, and curious of what is to come.

After suffering several miscarriages, my husband and I decided to try again in May 2011. To our surprise we were expecting after our first month. The doctors monitored us closely in the early weeks and everything was developing great, with no medical complications. We were both in shock that progesterone shots or bed rest didn't appear to be in our future. However, as the weeks progressed, we felt we became just another number to our doctor and decided to move to another practice.

At 20 weeks we were overjoyed to find we were having a little boy. We called everyone we knew and gushed about how proud we were to be parents of a baby boy! Soon after finding out the sex I started to leak fluid.

On Friday, October 7, 2011, I called the new doctor and they had me come in right away. After a quick exam they determined that I had an incompetent cervix and the amniotic sac was visible. If the amniotic fluid was not infected, then they could do a  cervical cerclage and keep me in the hospital on bed rest. After an amniocentesis they discovered the amniotic fluid was incredibly infected and that they had to deliver the baby.

Being only 21 weeks, the baby would not be able to live outside of the womb. Knowing this information gave us several hours to prepare for what was to come. I remember sitting in the hospital bed feeling very present in the moment. I did not think of the past, I did not think of the future. I only experienced what was happening at that very moment. It is as if time stood still. I had an overwhelming feeling that everything was going to be okay. It kept me in a state of sanity so I could endure everything that was to come.

Although I was clearly in a state of shock, I was unsure about wanting to name the baby or wanting to see him after the birth. I did not know if I would be able to handle all the emotions that would bring.We had several doctors and nurses come in and share their personal stories of loss. They all suggested we see him and hold him for closure, but I was still scared.

It wasn't until I actually birthed him that I knew I wanted to see him, hold him, and name him. It was a very quiet and peaceful experience. He was so incredibly beautiful. Perfect from his button nose to his tiny perfect toes. I felt so much love in my heart for the little guy, and he made such an impact on my life even if I only had his for a short time.

The hardest thing I experienced was having to leave him in the hospital while we went home the next day. I couldn't stop the tears as the nurse wheeled me out to my car. My husband and I bawled the whole way home. It was one of the worst days of my life.

Six months later I can finally share my story in hopes that it may help someone else who is going through the same struggle of losing a baby. My hope for this blog is to share and document my epiphanies and life experiences. Being able to process hardships and to keep growing in life is so important. That is what I plan on doing, and I know everyone else has the capability to blossom again too.