Jump to Spread Your Wings and Soar

I am have been contemplating a tattoo on the side of my foot that says "Jump". It is a Madonna song that really speaks to me from her Confessions on a Dancefloor album. Here are some of the lyrics:

I haven't got much time to waste,

its time to make my way

I'm not afraid of what I'll face,

but I'm afraid to stay

I'm travelling down my own road

and I can make it alone

I'll work and I'll fight

'till I find a place of my own

Are you ready to Jump,

get ready to Jump,

Don't ever look back oh baby

Yes I'm ready to Jump,

just take my hand,

Get ready to,

Are you ready?

Today I was listening to Christina Aguiliera's Stripped album (a must have!) and the song "Soar" stuck out to me. I now want to incorporate that into my tattoo. Here are some of the inspirational lyrics from this song:

Don't be scared to fly alone
Find a path that is your own
Love will open every door
Its in your hands
The world is your
Don't hold back and always know
All the answers will unfold
What are you waiting for
Spread your wings and soar

What is it in us that makes us feel the need
To keep pretending
Gotta let ourselves be

So, to remind me to have faith that everything is going to be okay, and life is worth taking risks, I have come up with:

"Jump and Soar"

 

When Positivity Is Too Much Work

I have tried to stay positive over the last 7 months, but I think my body and mind are worn out. I don't want to be happy all the time and optimistic that the future will be bright. Right now I don't see any indication that my positive attitude has made my future brighter. I just feel exhausted.

Have you ever felt like everything you were trying to accomplish remains stagnant? I feel like a complete failure in all aspects of my life. Nothing is happening. I wake up, go to my mediocre job, go to the gym suffering through my work out, come home and watch television until it is time to go to bed. There has got to be something more to life then that!

Thank God for Swollen Glands

Most people would gripe and whine about swollen glands, but today I am grateful for them. A swollen gland changed my perspective on life, gave me freedom from pain I held on to for 17 years, and tightened a long awaited bond with my sisters.

Two weeks ago my mother found a lump in her neck. After performing several tests that all came back inconclusive, the family was convinced it was cancer. The night I found out I sat still in my bed, unable to sleep, with thoughts racing through my head. I quietly left our bedroom, trying to avoid disturbing my sleeping husband and retreated into our spare bedroom to write in my journal.
Crying and writing tends to help me sort through the thoughts in my head and return to my bed at peace. This time the crying turned to sobbing, which turned to hyperventilating, which resulted in an epiphany. No longer will I hold on to the things of the past. It is not worth carrying that anger every day, especially if my mother has a life threatening disease. Regardless of the results I made a vow to never hold on to those negative feelings again.

Yesterday, after much anxiety and stress, we found out it was just a swollen gland. Although the last two weeks were painful, I was given a gift. The gift of being able to let go, and that is priceless.